JAN
2

Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - Best and Different - 1 » 14:35 14 Thu Nov 2019

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor %

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Animal jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Bar jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Best and Different

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Blonde jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Chuck Norris jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Computer jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Comuter jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Dirty jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Family jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Kids jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Lawyer jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Math jokes



+ more
»49« »50« »51« »52« »53« »54« »55« »56« »57« »58« »59« »60«
  • 271 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    My Mother Taught Me About... 1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home." 2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You are going to get it when we get home!" 3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!" 4. My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job." 7. My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're just like your father." 10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?" 11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand." And last but not least... 12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE... "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

    2009/08/02 00:52 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 272 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes - 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. The Baby's Name - 1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect! Preparing for the Birth - 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. The Layette - 1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries - 1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Activities - 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. Going Out - 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home - 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

    2009/08/02 00:52 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 273 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    2009/08/02 00:52 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 274 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

    2009/08/02 00:52 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 275 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR! 2. If he drops a thousand dollars, he won't even bother to pick it up because during the 4 seconds he picks it, he would've already earned it back. 3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion dollars, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years. 4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money. 5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now. 6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth. 7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes , you can make a road from the earth to moon, 14 times back and forth.But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money. 8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he goes to heaven. Last but not the least: The Best One!! 9. If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years.

    2009/08/02 00:52 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • »49« »50« »51« »52« »53« »54« »55« »56« »57« »58« »59« »60«
    free counters
    DEC
    24

    First Page 4U

    These Applications are maded by Sergiu Gordienco Vasile

    Projects in progress

    • Ask & Answer APP - ( testing.. )
    • Social Project: - ( in construction )
      • CVs DataBase
      • Jobs Database
      • Messages, Agenda, Friends, Small SDK for Game building an Share
    • Online Drawing App - ( partial, on stage, browser compatibility updates for HTML5.. )
      • supports layers, masks, and layes grouping ( testing... )
      • drawing in Multiple formats ( base is Vector Type )
      • exporting in JPG, PNG, SVG, BMP, GIF.. etc ( done )
      • libraries for shema buildin.. ( updating content.. adding items.. )
    • Online Realtime strategy ( .. confidential.. )
      • updating image libraries... ( in progress )
      • updating translations...
      • updating notifiers
      • updating schemas
    • Auto configurable LAMP ( ready, private )
    • Server Stats based on Apache an System Logs ( ready, private )
    • DDOS protection module ( ready, private )

    For contribution contact me at astraluxkl@gmail.com

    DEC
    31
    Info
    The Code Of this site is Copyrighted © and Registered ®. The owner of code of this System is "Sergiu Gordienco Vasile", the rights are protected by Law. If you are interested by this, contact him on astraluxkl@gmail.com or send SMS on: (+373) 78310479
    We are glad to discuss your purpose sincerely GenerationUnion Support Team astraluxkl2@gmail.com.