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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - * - 1 » 21:35 28 Sun Apr 2024

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  • 361 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    We're in the wrong business --------------------------- --------------------------- Drug dealers Software developers --------------------------- --------------------------- Refer to their clients Refer to their clients as "users". as "users". "The first one's free!" "Download a free trial version..." Have important South-East Have important South-East Asian connections Asian connections (to help move the stuff). (to help debug the code). Strange jargon: Strange jargon: "Stick," "Rock," "SCSI," "RTFM," "Dime bag," "E". "Java," "ISDN". Realize that there's Realize that there's tons of cash in the tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market 14- to 25-year-old market. Job is assisted by the Job is assisted by the industry's producing industry's producing newer, more potent mixes. newer, faster machines. Often seen in the company Often seen in the company of of pimps and hustlers. marketing people and venture capitalists. Their product causes DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D unhealthy addictions. 'Nuff said. Do your job well, and Damn! Damn! DAMN!!! you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.

    2009/08/02 00:54 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 362 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"

    2009/08/02 00:54 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 363 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton came on the TV. After a few sips he looked up at the screen and mumbled, "Now there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." Immediately, a customer at the end of the bar got up, walked over, decked him, and left. A few minutes later, the man was finishing his beer when Hillary Clinton appeared on the TV. "She's a horse's ass too," he said. A customer from the other end of the bar got up, walked over, and knocked him off his stool. "Damnit!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"

    2009/08/02 00:54 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 364 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Old Friend sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun... Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?" Old Friend: "Dog no talk." Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doin' alright." Old Friend: extreme look of shock Cowboy: " Is this man your owner?" pointing at Old Friend. Dog: "Yep" Cowboy: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Old Friend: look of disbelief. Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Old Friend: "Horse no talk." Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." Old Friend: extreme look of shock Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Old Friend. Horse: "Yep" Cowboy: "How's he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." Old Friend: total look of amazement Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Old Friend: "Sheep Lie."

    2009/08/02 00:54 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 365 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, ol' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing, son," his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" "Read!" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But the young cowboy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?'" The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"

    2009/08/02 00:54 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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    These Applications are maded by Sergiu Gordienco Vasile

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