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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - Best and Different - 1 » 00:14 24 Sat Oct 2020

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor

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Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor %

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  • 86 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A mother was walking with her four year old daughter one day when the daughter picked up something off the ground and started to put it into her mouth. The mother stopped her and said she shouldn't do that. "Why," asked the little girl. "Because its dirty. It's been on the ground. You don't know where it's been. It probably has germs." The little girl looked up at her mom with admiration and asked, "How do you know so much?" Thinking quickly, the mother said, "All moms know so much. We have to. It's on the Mommy Test. If you don't know it, you don't get to be a mommy." The little girl pondered this for a few minutes, then her face brightened. "I get it!" she said. "If you don't pass the test, you get to be a daddy!" "Yup," said the mom.

    2009/08/02 00:47 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 87 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A new teacher thought she would use what she learned in her psychology courses. She said to her class, "Everyone who thinks they are stupid, please stand up." After a few seconds, one boy stood. "Do you think you're stupid?" she asked. "No, ma'am, but I just didn't want you to have to stand there all by yourself."

    2009/08/02 00:47 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 88 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer. So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

    2009/08/02 00:47 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 89 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Two old guys were sitting under a tree, watching the sun go down. One says, "You know, I'm 84 years old and my body is full of aches and pains. You're about my age. How do you feel?" The other guy says, "Oh, I feel like a newborn baby." "Really," says the first guy. "Yep," says the second one. "No teeth, no hair and I think I just wet my pants."

    2009/08/02 00:47 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 90 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

    2009/08/02 00:47 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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