A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: 'For Women Only'. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. 'We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside.' So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: 'All the men here have it short and thin.' The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: 'All the men here have it long and thin.' Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: 'All the men here have it short and thick.' They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: 'All the men here have it long and thick.' The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads: 'There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.'
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.' The Husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, 'I know the whole truth'. The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, 'I know the whole truth.' His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, 'Just don't tell your father.' Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, 'I know the whole truth.' The father promptly hands him $40 and says, 'Please don't say a word to your mother.' Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, 'I know the whole truth.' The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, 'Then come give your FATHER a big hug.'
A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm. 'Sure!' she says, 'He's at home taking care of the kids...'
Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, 'Well, tonight's the night we have sex!' And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, 'My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!' And the woman was thinking to herself, 'My God, if I knew the old man could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panties!'
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