JAN
2

Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - Best and Different - 1 » 14:20 29 Fri Mar 2024

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor %

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Animal jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Bar jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Best and Different

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Blonde jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Chuck Norris jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Computer jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Comuter jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Dirty jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Family jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Kids jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Lawyer jokes

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor Math jokes



+ more
»89« »90« »91« »92« »93« »94« »95« »96« »97« »98« »99« »100«
  • 471 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for quite a long time he arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realised he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks. The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," as she processes his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have qualified for disability, too."

    2009/08/02 00:57 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 472 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Last week was my retirement and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy retirement!" and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy retirement." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy retirement!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your retirement, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge retirement cake Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all shouting " Happy retirement!" And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked.

    2009/08/02 00:57 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 473 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holidays. One small boy wrote the following: We always used to spend Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used to live here in a big brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They all live in little tin boxes. They ride on big three-wheeled tricycles and they all wear nametags because they don't know who they are. They go to a big building called a wrecking hall; but if it was wrecked, they got it fixed because it's all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very good. There is a swimming pool there. They go into it and just stand there with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim. As you go into their park, there is a dollhouse with a little man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get out without him seeing them. When they can sneak out they go to the beach and pick up shells that they think are dollars. My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody cooks, they just eat out. They eat the same thing every night, Early Birds. Some of the people are so retarded that they don't know how to cook at all, so my Grandma and Grandpa bring food into the wrecked hall and they call it "pot luck." My Grandma says Grandpa worked hard all his life and earned his retardment. I wish they would move back up here, but I guess the little man in the dollhouse won't let them out.

    2009/08/02 00:57 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 474 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    10. Spend more quality time with Chelsea and her 13 half brothers and sisters. 9. Tour the nations' prisons to improve conditions, visit friends. 8. Write book: "The American Presidency: An Oral History." 7. Buy a Hooter's franchise. 6. Catch up on eight-year stack of "Penthouse" 5. Search for a new outlet for well-developed lying and cheating skills. 4. Continue work counseling interns. 3. Stop using fake names in personal ads. 2. Take little Buddy out three times a day -- also walk the dog. 1. Get to know those Gore girls better. Also, Clinton stated that when he leaves office there are three things he really wants to do......the Dixie Chicks

    2009/08/02 00:57 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 475 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a name. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket for parking more than 12 inches from the curb. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. I have to tell you, though. I didn't care in the least. In fact, I was having a great time. My car was parked around the corner. The one the officer wrote all the tickets for was not even mine, and had a "Elect Hillary Clinton " bumper sticker on it to boot! I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important at our age.

    2009/08/02 00:57 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • »89« »90« »91« »92« »93« »94« »95« »96« »97« »98« »99« »100«
    free counters
    DEC
    24

    First Page 4U

    These Applications are maded by Sergiu Gordienco Vasile

    Projects in progress

    • Ask & Answer APP - ( testing.. )
    • Social Project: - ( in construction )
      • CVs DataBase
      • Jobs Database
      • Messages, Agenda, Friends, Small SDK for Game building an Share
    • Online Drawing App - ( partial, on stage, browser compatibility updates for HTML5.. )
      • supports layers, masks, and layes grouping ( testing... )
      • drawing in Multiple formats ( base is Vector Type )
      • exporting in JPG, PNG, SVG, BMP, GIF.. etc ( done )
      • libraries for shema buildin.. ( updating content.. adding items.. )
    • Online Realtime strategy ( .. confidential.. )
      • updating image libraries... ( in progress )
      • updating translations...
      • updating notifiers
      • updating schemas
    • Auto configurable LAMP ( ready, private )
    • Server Stats based on Apache an System Logs ( ready, private )
    • DDOS protection module ( ready, private )

    For contribution contact me at astraluxkl@gmail.com

    DEC
    31
    Info
    The Code Of this site is Copyrighted © and Registered ®. The owner of code of this System is "Sergiu Gordienco Vasile", the rights are protected by Law. If you are interested by this, contact him on astraluxkl@gmail.com or send SMS on: (+373) 78310479
    We are glad to discuss your purpose sincerely GenerationUnion Support Team astraluxkl2@gmail.com.