Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "You would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles with a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." In response to all this goading, the GM chairman replies, "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
Bill Gates croaked it and met his maker, and God said, "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or to Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and we even have them up here now, yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go. Bill Gates said, "What's the difference between the two?" God said, "It might help you decide if you took a peek. I've set up webcams at both places. Shall we look at Hell first?" Bill was amazed. He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear blue waters. There were thousands of beautiful men and women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. "This is great!" said Bill. "If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven." God said, "Here then" and clicked on his mouse and they viewed Heaven. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision. "God, I do believe I would prefer to go to Hell." "As you wish," said God. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amidst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being tortured by demons with pitchforks. "How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair, "This is awful! This isn't what we watched at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?" "Oh, that," said God. "That was the screen saver..."
After having dug to a depth of 10 yards last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 yards, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: 'California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.' One week later, "The Express News", a local newspaper in Texas reported the following: After digging as deep as 30 yards in corn fields near College Station, Texas A&M University, Bubba Joe Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago... Texas had already gone wireless!
I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I will live to be 80?" He asked: "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?" "Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either." "Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?" I said, "No, I usually stay home and keep to myself." "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!" "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?" "No, I don't," I said. "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things." He looked at me and said, "Then why do you care?"
She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ' For the love of God! ' ' Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon, Love, Grandma
Free video chat meeting room conference. Use Free video conference software, make conference call video / audio. Live room chat Voice comunication with free audio / video chat.
Online webcode Editor
Paste & Share Code
Videos
Horoscop
Last News Finder
ANVOS-SERVICE SRL
Blog de Fizica
Websites Development
SEO Dashboard Tools
Get Ip Information
Minichat script code
Online Counters
Website Worth
Free Backlinks
Free Star Rating API
The Code Of this site is Copyrighted © and Registered ®. The owner of code of this System is "Sergiu Gordienco Vasile", the rights are protected by Law. If you are interested by this, contact him on astraluxkl@gmail.com or send SMS on: (+373) 78310479
We are glad to discuss your purpose sincerely GenerationUnion Support Team astraluxkl2@gmail.com.
551 » Best and Different
