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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - Best and Different - 1 » 21:58 26 Fri Apr 2024

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  • 571 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in an office: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left." Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" Sign on music teachers' door: "Out Chopin." Sign at the electic company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be." Sign in beauty shop window: "Dye now!" Sign on a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." Sign at a computer store: "Out for a quick byte." Sign on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up." Sign in a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 572 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: "Get a `long` little doggie!" Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want." Sign on a music library's door: "Bach in a minuet." Sign in a restaurant window: "T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12" A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special. Below it says: So's tomorrow." Sign on restaurant window: "Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)." Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." Sign in a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends." Sign in school: "In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended."

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 573 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign on an asphalt truck: "Let us fill your crack!" Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome." Sign at a muffler shop: "No muff too tough for us!" Sign on a government issue car: "Fulton county disaster coordinator." Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice. Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted." Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. Sign in a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 574 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign on a Norfolk farm: "Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left." Sign seen in London department store: "Bargain Basement Upstairs" Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: "Closed for official opening." Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk." Sign in a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily." Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid." Sign in a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." Sign in a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 575 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service." Sign at fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!" Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs." Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation." Sign from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years." Sign in an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers." Sign in a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter." Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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