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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - Best and Different - 1 » 10:18 28 Thu Mar 2024

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  • 596 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from American newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of "Anguished English". On behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks go out to those sending flowers, cards and contributing to the death of her husband. The airplane was only a few feet from the ground when it crashed, witnesses said. With the exception of victimless crimes (which need not concern us here), every single crime committed in this nation of ours involves a victim. A purple lady's bicycle was missing from Serendipity Lane recently. Chairman Billings asked Board members to muster support from parent-teacher groups to support the governor's task force on driving while intoxicated. He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated. Montreal police don't hesitate to use whatever laws, regulations or persuasion they feel they need to control morality in the city and prevent it from getting a foothold. A college friendship that began a year ago ended in matrimony yesterday.

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 597 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    The following is supposedly a true story. Monday, December 7, 1992 Joe Albert Ruiz, 19, was arrested in Santa Maria in September. Police said he had broken into a car in the middle of the night and was in the trunk, disconnecting the rear speakers, when the trunk closed and locked him in. Neighbors reported strange noises, and a police officer called to the scene heard Ruiz banging on the trunk and yelling, "Let me out!"

    2009/08/02 01:01 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 598 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    The following is supposedly a true story. Wednesday, October 21, 1992 Kenneth Jeffries, 24, was arrested in West Haven, Conn., in August for robbing a convenience store. Police reported that he had first offered the clerk $1 for a pack of gum and then taken $40 in the robbery. However, said police, Jeffries returned a minute later and asked, uncertainly, "Did I pay for the gum?" By that time the clerk had summoned police, and Jeffries was soon apprehended.

    2009/08/02 01:01 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 599 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    The following is supposedly a true story. Bellevue, WA On Saturday, police broke up a disturbance between a couple arguing over which one was drunker. Both were arrested and taken to Overlake Hospital for treatment of injuries to their heads. The police are charging them with disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace, but not assault. They each injured themselves and not the other. It seems, according to police and witnesses, that the couple were taking turns bashing their heads into the drywall walls and the wooden door of their apartment in order to prove they were so drunk that they couldn't feel the pain.

    2009/08/02 01:01 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 600 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    The following is supposedly a true story. Rory Johnson, 29, was arrested in May for a liquor store robbery in Elkhart, Ind. Johnson had parked in the back of the store to facilitate his getaway but had trouble exiting because of congestion due to road construction. Five minutes after the robbery, he was sitting in his car, having moved only a few feet, and liquor store employees pointed him out to police.

    2009/08/02 01:01 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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