The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons: Has to work hard Has to work at great depths Has to work upside down Has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work Has to work in a high humidity environment Has to work at high temperatures Does not get weekends and holidays off Does not get time off after extra hours of work Has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness Request denied for the following reasons: Does not work 8 hours in a row Does not answer immediately to all requests After a short activity period, falls asleep at work Shows no fidelity to the workplace Retires too early Does not work at all unless pushed from behind Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work Sometimes leaves work, too early
A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man. "6 shots?? Are you celebrating something?" Yeah, my first blowjob," the man answered. "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
An elderly woman walked into a doctor's office and told the doctor that she and her husband had not been intimate in years. She said that her husband seemed to have a lack of desire. After listening to the woman for a while, the doctor said, "I have just thething. Have your husband take two of these pills right before dinner...." The next morning, the woman stormed into the doctor's office and exclaimed, "You have to change my husband's prescription!! It is much too strong!! I gave him the pills before dinner, just like you told me, and halfway through dinner they took effect. He got a wild look in his eyes, then pulled the tablecloth off the table breaking all of the dishes!! Then he threw me onto the table, and we made love right there!! "I feel awful," said the doctor. "Let me at least pay for all of the broken dishes." "Don't worry about it," replied the woman, "we just won't eat at that restaurant any more!!"
A pretty girl is driving through the West. Her car runs out of gas, and an Indian comes along on a horse, and gives her a ride to a gas station. Every few minutes he lets out a wild whoop that would curdle milk. Finally, he drops her off with a final Ya-Hooo! and gallops off. "My God!" says the gas station guy, "What the hell were you doing to that Injun to make him holler like that?" "Why, nothing," says the girl, "I just sat behind him with my arms around him, holding onto his saddle horn." "Lady,"says the guy, "Indians don't use saddles."
Aunt Mary and two of her old friends were having a glass of lemonade at her house, and talking about their health problems. "I think I must be getting old." said one of the women. "I sometimes find myself at the foot of the stairs, and I can't remember if I was going up to get something, or coming back down." "I know what you mean," added the second friend. "Sometimes I'll be standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember if I wanted to take something out, or if I had just put something in." Aunt Mary sat up. "I guess I'm better off than either of you. I haven't had any problems like that so far, knock on wood". Saying that, she rapped on the table three times. She looked at the other two women and stood up. "Excuse me," she said, "Someone's at the door."
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