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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - * - 1 » 11:15 29 Fri Mar 2024

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor

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  • 171 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say, I'm a lawyer."So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said "No," he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning.She said, "Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?"He said, "Why,... Yes I am!"So they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself. When she asked what was so funny, he answered,"Well, I've only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"

    2009/08/02 00:49 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 172 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

    2009/08/02 00:49 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 173 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points to the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says "I just screwed your mom and it was sw-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk wanders off. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom even let me----." Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad----you're drunk!"

    2009/08/02 00:49 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 174 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A man comes to his doctor and tells him that hes wife doesn't want to have sex with him for the last 7 months. The doc tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doctor asks her whats wrong and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband anymore. The wife tells him, "For the last 7 months every morning I take a cab to work. I dont have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I take a 'or what'. When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take a 'or what'. Back home agian I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' so again I take a 'or what'. So you see doc when I get home I'm all tired out, and I don't want it any more." The doctor thinks for a secound and then turns to the wife and says, "So are we going to tell your husband or what?"

    2009/08/02 00:49 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 175 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    "Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE." "I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold..." "One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?" "Um... okay." He thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes... he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I need a man..." His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me too.."

    2009/08/02 00:49 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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