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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - * - 1 » 04:58 24 Sat Aug 2019

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor

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  • 16 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonnette I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. Henry Youngman It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week. Laurence J. Peter If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Unknown If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. John Barrymore Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Robert Frost A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. Mistinguette Absence -- that common cure of love. Miguel De Cervantes

    2009/08/02 00:22 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 17 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error. Janet Coleman The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Andy Rooney The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. George Carlin If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. -- Paul Beatty In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. Joey Adams

    2009/08/02 00:22 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 18 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert Frost The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse Dennis Miller Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished. Leslie Nielsen The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. Slappy White I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. Robert Paul It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. Muhammad Ali A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error. Dennis Miller I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K Jerome

    2009/08/02 00:22 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 19 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. Bill Maher To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. Ernest Hemingway The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. Quentin Crisp There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. Benjamin Spock I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away. Nancy Mitford We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller

    2009/08/02 00:22 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 20 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him. Arthur C. Clarke Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders? Friedrich Nietzsche God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Voltaire When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. Peter OToole

    2009/08/02 00:22 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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