Boy asks his Gran nervously, 'have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?' Gran replies 'fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!'
A guy picks up a prostitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel. A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs. He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs". She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died leaving me $50,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "nothing!"
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1001 » Family jokes
