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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - * - 1 » 18:06 28 Thu Mar 2024

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  • 811 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class: There are two things you need to succeed in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpses anus and licked it. Now you must do the same, he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed. Second, the professor continued, You must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this corpses anus, but licked my index finger?

    2009/08/02 01:07 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 812 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, Do you have any sales experience? The kid says, Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas. Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. You start tomorrow. Ill come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. How many sales did you make today? The kid says, One. The boss says, Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for? The kid says, $101,237.64. The boss says, $101,237.64? What the hell did you sell? Kid says, First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didnt think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer." The boss said, A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck? Kid says, No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, Well, your weekends shot, you might as well go fishing.

    2009/08/02 01:07 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 813 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A teacher asks her students to discuss what their dads do for a living. Little Mary raises her hand first and says, My dads a lawyer for the government. He puts the bad guys in jail. Little Jack goes next: My dads a doctor. He makes sick people better. All the kids in the class take their turn except Little Walter. The teacher asks him, What does your dad do? Walter replies, My dads dead. Im sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died? He turned blue and shit on the living room carpet.

    2009/08/02 01:07 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 814 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    Dave was the vice-president of ACME inc. One day the president, Mr. Smith called him into his office. He told Dave that they had to make some cutbacks and either Jack or Barb would have to be laid off. Dave looked at Mr Smith and said, Barb is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I dont know who to fire. Ill tell you what to do. Fire the first one of them who comes in to work tomorrow, Mr. Smith replied. The next morning Dave waited for either Jack or Barb to show up. Barb was the first to arrive. Dave said to her, Barb, Ive got a problem. Really? What's wrong? Barb replied. Well you see, Ive got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do? Barb replied, Jack off! Ive got a headache.

    2009/08/02 01:07 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 815 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    A 92-year-old man moved into a retirement home where he immediately met a 90 year old woman. They hit it off right away. After a few weeks of spending time together, the man said, You know, were past our sexual years, so I wonder if it would be okay for you to just hold my penis in your hand. The woman seemed surprised, but said, Well, I guess it wouldnt do any harm to just hold it. So, for the next few weeks, they could always be found on a park bench near a lake, the lady holding the mans penis in her hand. One day the old man didnt show up. Beginning to worry, the lady set out in search of him. A few blocks away, sitting on another park bench was the old manwith another woman. The first old lady approached the couple and saw the other woman holding the mans penis in her hand. She became very upset and yelled to the man, I thought we had something special. Now, I find you with another woman, and shes holding your penis in her hand. What does she have that I dont have??? The old man looked up, smiled, and saidParkinsons.

    2009/08/02 01:07 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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