An old man marries a young woman, and though theyre in love, the wife cant achieve an orgasm. They ask a psychiatrist for advice. He says, Hire a strapping young man. While youre making love, have him wave a towel over your bodies. The couples desperate, so they hire a male escort to wave a towel. But despite a lengthy lovemaking session, the wife still cant get off. Willing to try anything, the husband and the strapping young stallion switch positions. The guy goes to work, and the wife quickly has an earthshaking orgasm. The husband smiles and says triumphantly, You see, young fella? Thats how you wave a towel!
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now shes angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, dont do it." "Shut up," she says. "Youre next."
President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him. "What is it?" sighs the president. "Its this abortion bill. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks. "Go ahead and pay it," says the president.
A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door. In walks her husbands friend Ben. The woman tells him her husbands in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. Ill give it to you if youll open your bathrobe for me." Shes offended, but really needs the money so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up again. Ben gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, "I have another $400 in my other pocket. Ill give it to you if you let me touch your breasts." Now shes really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a quick feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door. Going back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty. "Who was that?" the husband asks. "Oh, that was just Ben," the wife answers. "Ben?" the husband says. "Did he bring the $800 he owes me?"
A young couple is golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife slices her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walk up, knock on the door, and hear a voice say, "Come on in." Opening the door, they see glass everywhere and a broken bottle lying on the floor. A man on the couch says, "Are you the people who broke my window?" The husband begins to apologize, but the man cuts him off. "Actually, I want to thank youIm a genie who was trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me. Im allowed to grant three wishes, so what Id like to do is give each of you one wish, and Ill keep the last one for myself." "Fantastic!" says the husband. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," says the genie, "its the least I could do. And you, maam, what do you want?" "I want a house in every country in the world," says the wife. "Consider it done," the genie replies, turning back to the man. "And now for my wish. Because Ive been trapped in that bottle, I havent had sex in a really long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife." The husband takes a long look at his wife and says, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses. If you dont mind, honey, I dont either." The wife agrees, and the genie takes her upstairs, where he ravishes her for three hours. After hes through, the genie rolls over, looks at the wife, and asks, "How old is your husband, anyway?" "Thirty-five," she replies. "And he still believes in genies?"
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