My God! What happened to you? the bartender asks Sean as he hobbles in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. I got in a tiff with Riley, he replies. Riley? Hes just a wee fellow, the bartender says. He must have had a weapon in his hand. That he did. A shovel it was. Dear Lord. Didnt you have anything in your hand? Aye, that I didMrs. Rileys left tit, Sean laments. And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.
A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. Daddy, what are those two spiders doing? she asked. Theyre mating, her father replied. What do you call the spider on top, Daddy? she asked. Thats a daddy longlegs. her father answered. So, the other one is a mommy longlegs? the little girl asked. No, her father replied. Both of them are daddy longlegs. The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat. Well, were not having that sort of shit in our garden.
A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, How much? He doesnt hear her correctly and says Come again? She giggles and says Noits just mustard this time.
A guy walks into a bar and sees another guy sitting with a ferret. The guy seems to be stroking it rather lovingly. The first guy asks him, Why are you stroking that ferret? He replies, Well my friend, the ferret gives the best head in the world. Bullshit, theres no way a ferret can do that. Go try yourself. So the first guy takes the ferret and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes pass and suddenly theres banging and moaning and screaming coming from the bathroom. The first guy comes out, stroking the ferret lovingly and looks at the second guy. I will give you $500, no $1000, for this ferret. The second guy thinks about it for a little while and then nods. Alright, a thousand dollars it is. The first guy pays the second guy and takes the ferret home. He places it on the table in front of his wife and tells her the story. She looks at him in amazement, What am I supposed to do with a $1000 ferret? Teach it to cook and get the fuck out!
Free video chat meeting room conference. Use Free video conference software, make conference call video / audio. Live room chat Voice comunication with free audio / video chat.