A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!" The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?" "Yes, anything" the blonde promised. With that, the man said, "Follow me." He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door." She did. He then said, "Get on your knees." She did. Then he said, "Take down my zipper." She did. He said, "Go ahead... take it out." She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead!" The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly, "HELLO... MOM?
There is said to be a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If you stand in front of this mirror and tell the truth, you are granted a wish. However, if you tell a lie, POOF! you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." POOF! The mirror swallows her. Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I think I'm the sexiest woman alive! POOF! The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." POOF! She is swallowed up and is never seen again.
Two Blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." The second Blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, "You dumb ass, it's me!"
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Three women, a brunette, a red head, and a blonde, all work together in an office. Every day they notice the boss leaves work a little early. So they meet together and decide that today when the boss leaves, they will leave early too. The boss leaves and do do they. The brunette goes home and straight to bed so can get an early start the next morning. The red head goes home to get in a quick work-out before her dinner date. The blonde goes home and walks into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and sees her husband in bed with her boss, so she shuts the door and left. The next day, the brunette and the red head are talking about going home early again. They ask the blonde if she wants to leave early again. "No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"
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