Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, ''But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!'' His wife replied, ''Yes, but his eyesight is incredible.'' Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, ''Do you see it?'' Ted nodded his head and said, ''Boy, that was a beautiful shot!'' Joe excitedly asked, ''Well, where did it land?!'' Ted said, ''Hmmm. I forget.''
A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone. "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"