Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ...?"
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed, listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard, barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. She finally comes back up to bed, and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard; let's see how THEY like it".
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course the famer is a blonde. :) He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks the man, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!"
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm... 4!" the blonde says. Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?" "Ummm... 10!" the blonde says. "Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history. "OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" "Ummm... I don't know," she admits. "Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of her. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. "Not only did I get the job," the blonde says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"
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